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About staceytangerineowlproject

I am a Chicagoland mommy, who runs the Tangerine Owl Project (tangerineowl.org) devoted to supporting families with infants in the NICU and/or those who have experienced infant loss. I am an advocate for maternal mental health, preeclampsia education and community outreach/support for the uncomfortable issues that families deal with. I have a ridiculously loving and supportive husband, two lovely children and a 3rd in heaven. Life can be chaotic, but we make the best of what's thrown at us, through all of this I am thankful that it has led me to meet and learn from some incredible people.

Memorials for Preemies

I believe there is a sort of stigma attached to infant loss, and openly grieving is difficult for others to take in.  When a baby passes away, especially a preemie who may have never had the chance to meet anyone beyond their parents and caregivers or a baby who was born stillborn, it may be thought of as odd to hold a funeral/memorial service. 

Do they even make caskets that small? You may wonder?  Why yes, they do. For those parents who want to share their little one with their families and friends by holding a memorial, please don’t hesitate because you think it will be “too morbid”, too sad, or because others never knew your child.  Death is an uncomfortable subject, and those that occur taking the lives of babies just born are especially tragic, but we parents grieve like any other. If this can help to provide comfort and/or closure to the parents, then they should hold a ceremony that is meaningful to them.

No body is necessary, you can choose to have a service in which you share your little one with others in remembrance through pictures, stories, and songs. We were able to celebrate the short life of our little one and grieve the loss with those who we loved around us. To us, it was comforting to share stories about the first time we held her tiny little hand and the heartache that we were feeling.  We felt she deserved to be known.  She deserved to be acknowledged, and she was an inspiration to us, so we shared what we could so that she could also inspire others.  Don’t forget that this is also a chance for others outside the immediate family to be able to share their feelings.  The loss of an infant profoundly effects the parents and siblings of that baby, but just like a drop in water, ripples onto grandparents, godparents, cousins, friends of the family, etc.

All footprints …

Quote

All footprints start small, some are born as small as a wedding ring.
From the precious beginnings of that first breath of life, a premature baby will open your heart to miracles of life…..
Trust in their determination and in time, their footprint may be larger than yours…..

Author: Julia Toivonen

NICU experiences – We want to hear your story

Dear friends,

By now you have hopefully heard or read our story / the story of Delilah, the inspiration behind the Tangerine Owl Project.  We’re happy to share her story with you, but moreso, we want to hear your stories.  We invite any of you who have experienced time in the NICU to share with us. Near and far, the good, the bad, the ugly, and everything in between. 

Are you there now with a preemie?  Did you get to take your precious one home having “graduated” from the NICU?  Are you still battling with the loss of a dear little angel? Struggling to find the right diagnosis?  Maybe you’re on day 542 of your child’s NICU stay – it’s old school by now, but you have a story –

There is so much that can happen, so quickly and so turbulently, so please share, and know that you are not alone going through this.

Chicago Promise Walk

I was honored to speak this past Sunday at the Pre-eclampsia Foundation’s Chicago Promise Walk.  We couldn’t have asked for a better day to enjoy Busse Woods & to make an impact in awareness for the foundation.  Sharing my story was somewhat difficult with the flood of memories that returned as I was speaking, but I also knew that I was in a place where a great deal of the audience had a similar experience, if not worse, battling Preeclampsia. 

Teams of walkers/runners and their families and friends hit the course because they were survivors, or in honor of those they had lost.  It was there that it sunk in that this condition effects so many people… Many silently battle or find out too late that they have it, and it strikes without rhyme or reason.  My story is just one story, and I am so proud to be a survivor. I will look forward to working with the Preeclampsia Foundation to spread awareness so that others will recognize the signs and we will continue to support the families whose lives have been effected by this puzzling, chaotic condition.  (For more info on the condition, please go here: www.preeclampsia.org)