I came across the post “A Letter To My Doctor” today found on One Pink Balloon’s blog….. click HERE to read it.
These are some of the very words that I have said and/or felt, and if I haven’t, they are certainly the words of my fellow baby loss mamas. True, some of it pertains only to the doc, but there is much more that is helpful information for any loving friends and family who are at a loss of what to do/say.
There is no better feedback for anyone looking to support these mothers than what is here. So please, I beg you – read, understand what you can, and share.
Today is the day that I will both love and despise for the rest of my life. It’s my angel’s birthday and the reason that I am where I am today (for better most times, for worse every now and then). She would have been 3 today. I could choose to reside in depression about what I’ve lost, what our family is missing, what she would’ve could’ve or should’ve been doing now….. I’m an hour away from her gravesite, but I never felt much in the way of comfort there anyway. I could reminisce our short time with her by looking at my picture books dedicated to her, but her pictures are up in our home and I see those beautiful eyes every single day both in person and in my memories. Instead, like my goals with Tangerine Owl Project, I’m choosing to celebrate by “paying it forward” a bit by covering the cost of people’s morning cup of coffee….
What?! That’s silly, what does coffee have to do with an angel baby’s birthday or work for supporting families of NICU babies? Well nothing inherently – but it’s the little things….. that make the biggest impact.
My little 1.5 lb. wonder did so much for me in her 27 days on this earth, this pales in comparison. We dubbed her motto “go big or go home” because she didn’t do anything subtly. Preemies are said to be “small but mighty”. I feel like the Tangerine Owl Project is small but mighty too. We’re working one connection at a time, to make a difference in this world to the families that suffer in silence through the ups and downs of the NICU, or those who have experienced the same unimaginable loss and are trying to pick up the pieces. There’s a saying about being kind to everyone because you never know what battles they are fighting by themselves. Totally true.
Furthermore, coffee is my husband and I’s “thing”. We don’t do a whole lot of “out and about”, we rather prefer being homebodies or having friends over instead of big nights on the town. Our coffee dates are where we’ve had some of our most meaningful conversations – a time to truly disconnect from the world around and focus on just being us. The Tangerine Owl Project idea was created over coffee. It’s like a comfort zone for me. Yes, I am absolutely in need of caffeine to get my day started, but it’s so much more than that.
So the little things like simply making someone smile feels like the right way to honor someone that most of the world never got the chance to meet. Because she may have been gone for three years, but she’s far from forgotten, in fact, she should be known, because even from heaven, that girl is destined for great things.
XOXO Delilah, and Happy Birthday.