Today is the 3 year angelversary of my friend’s dear daughter Noelle.  I have never met my friend in person….we have continued conversations online, via phone and text, but I share the bond with her of our lost daughters. I’d like to share a story with you –

On the day my daughter died, I got a facebook message from a friend of a co-worker.  She didn’t know me, but she had seen my co-workers post about Delilah and sent me a message. Instantly I was amazed that a stranger had reached out and could already understand my pain that I couldn’t even yet put into words and also that she cared enough to message a complete stranger. It was a time when I needed someone who just understood. Her message was real, It was more than just ‘sorry for your loss’, she had been there done that having lost her little girl only 2 months prior, but she had put aside that pain in order to comfort someone else.  I envy every bit of my friend’s strength and compassion, because I recognize exactly how much it must have taken to look over her own grief to try to help relieve someone else’s.

As such, I make every effort to replicate that gesture, because I swear if it hadn’t been for her, I may not have been able to recover. I think about her daughter often. We wonder if they’re playing together in heaven sometimes. We remind each other of happiness and beauty through our little girls and we needn’t speak of the sorrows, but if we need to, there is no doubt that we can lend a listening ear without question or pity.

So Noelle, happy angelversary to you my love – even though I never knew you, I am thinking of you today. I wish I had had a chance to know you. It seems that your mama and I were meant to cross paths and I hope that I can help take care of her when she needs it (on the days and months like today), just like she helped take care of me.

A Nurse’s Wish

Such kind words. This is a beautiful heart wrenching but still vital story. I remember all the care and compassion our nurses had, and am thankful that you are all out there fighting along with us for our health and our babies. Thank you for sharing.


Being an obstetrical nurse, I am surrounded by beauty every single day I come to work.

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All over the world mothers of pregnancy and infant loss united in a project put into the works by Stephanie Paige Cole & Pia Dorer.  A project months in the making for us who submitted our photos (and much much longer than that for the Stephanie & Pia), the film was released late yesterday for the world to view. In 7 minutes it has managed to encapsulate the intangible. Please take a look here:

These brilliant women and their collaborators put together a remarkable film full of imagery and hopefulness. The word Inspiration quite frankly feels like an understatement….. this is a visual dialogue on just how many of us have walked in these shoes worldwide, and what we are left with when we look at it in these terms, is stunning. The Sacred Project film is now a part of history and I am moved beyond words at the finished film. It speaks volumes.

Please watch and SHARE this project with your world, because its one of the most simple and loving ways we can influence change.  My deepest heartfelt thank you to everyone involved for bringing this to life.

Thankful through heartbreak

I didn’t take part in all the memes this Thanksgiving season, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have a lot to be thankful for. Everyday I watch others peoples worlds crumbling around me, and I remember when that time was mine…. Even with the extraordinary heartbreak that came with losing her, I am lucky to have had her, if only for a fleeting moment. I’m not always thankful, and we don’t always have to be. There is still room for sorrow, joy, confusion, anger, love, grieving and sometimes yes, even gratitude. Sometimes I need that reminder, and today I got one as I came across this. So as we close out November’s focus of saying and giving thanks, I’ll leave this image with you, in case it resonates.

lucky goodbye pooh rose hill

This gorgeous image was one from a talented artist at Rose Hill Designs FB Page found here:

31 Days of Mindfulness – an antidote to seasonal stresses

From my friend Leigh. A great idea, not only to remind you to practice self-care, but also this shows the intimacy of working through grief, and how much it takes of your own accord to process. *Hugs* to all my babyloss parents out there. We’ll make it through the season yet!

Headspace Perspective

It’s no secret that I am looking forward to Christmas being over. The excitement ramped up a couple of notches over the weekend with decorations being proudly displayed on social media, talk of gift buying, Christmas songs, advent calendar opening, and elves on shelves.

While I do not resent others’ excitement over the festive season, it adds to my sense of loss. I have been reading a grief book based on cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT), and part of that is about training your mind to weed out unhelpful thoughts and replace them with thoughts that are more helpful. It’s not easy, and takes time – both to recognise and replace such thoughts when you are feeling low.

I have also been trying to practice mindfulness – awareness of ourselves and the world around us – well, since Saturday, when I bought a book about it. I have been pushing myself so hard with writing…

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