Number Three

Yes. This.
Even though I don’t have any reason to believe my own body couldn’t carry a normal term healthy baby, the very thought still causes so many unsettled feelings and worries….

Rockstar Preemies

maddieWhen you’ve had a traumatic pregnancy and birth experience, the question of having more children becomes very complex.  With healthy, relatively easy pregnancies, the question is, “would we like another?” and, if yes, “when should we try again?”.  But after two 25 weekers, it’s not that simple.  Then the question is, “I’d really like another, but should we risk it?”

The older Madeleine and Reid get, the more I can make peace with what we went through after they were born.  They are doing so well, so incredibly well, and I live with an unending sense of gratitude that our story had a happy ending.  But I still struggle with my own feelings about my pregnancy.  I struggle with the reality that my body was unable to carry my children long enough to keep them safe.  And I still mourn the dream I had for my children’s entrance into the…

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