I want to remember this…

Something I bet you would never expect a parent to say; and it’s BEAUTIFUL.

Expecting the Unexpected

They called us back to the NICU.  We had been back in my labor room, away for only a few minutes and had spent the time calling family to tell them to come now; her time was short.  It is never a good sign to be called to the NICU.  Her oxygen sats were dropping.  Her chest xray showed a collapsed lung and another leaking air.  She looked so purple lying on the warmer.  Beeps of machines.  The whoosh of the ventilator.  Her oxygen levels flashed on the screen…58…54…55…54.   Those numbers should have been in the 90s; when we left they had been holding steady in the 80s.  I took it all in… my baby was dying.  They sat me in a comfortable chair and put up a privacy screen, perhaps so other families wouldn’t witness our suffering, perhaps so we could have our pain in private.  From where I…

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